Q&A with Andrea Laurence
THIRTY DAYS TO WIN HIS WIFE
- Is there such a thing as a perfect husband or a perfect marriage?
I don’t think so. It’s a lie we tell ourselves as we strive for something better. The truth is that no one is perfect, so no relationship will be either. It’s work. It’s easy to look at a couple hitting a big milestone anniversary and think that it’s because they have a perfect relationship. But if you ask them, they’ll tell you that you have to put in an effort every day to make it happen.
- Tell us a bit more about the relationship between Tyler Dixon and Amelia Kennedy.
Tyler and Amelia are best friends and have been since high school. I think they were always too afraid to mess up their friendship by muddying the waters with romance so they never really let their minds go that direction. Because they were best friends, they also saw “behind the curtain,” so to speak. Your best friends know you, warts and all, unlike a romantic relationship where you try to be on your best behavior. It’s harder to see your friend as having dating potential when you know all his bad habits. It takes a little desperation and a big condom failure for them to look past all that and see the potential in their relationship.
- How important is friendship to a romantic partnership? Is passion more important?
I absolutely think that friendship is important to a relationship. You don’t have to be best friends like Tyler and Amelia, but you’ve got to like each other! You’ve got to want to spend time with them, have common interests with them, be able to enjoy conversations with them... Passion is good, passion is important, but that fades over time. Great sex isn’t enough to make up for it when you don’t really like the guy! (At least in the long run.) True companionship, in and out of the bedroom, is what makes a relationship last for thirty, forty, even sixty years.
- What’s your advice to those thinking about trying to turn a friendship into more?
I’m no relationship professional (fiction is a different animal!) but I think that you really need to consider why you’ve never dated before and why the idea is coming up after a long stint as friends. The answer lies there. Sometimes the timing is just wrong and you’ve never been single at the same time. If that’s the case and you’re both finally single and interested – go for it! If you’re good friends, but there’s no spark, it’s tougher to say. I think it’s easy to turn to a friend when you aren’t finding that compatibility in your dating pool, but sometimes it isn’t because you’re attracted to your friend, it’s because you’re impatient about finding both friendship and passion in one person. That guy is out there! Maybe he’s your friend. Maybe not. Just go into it with your eyes open and know that you may not come out of it with the friendship intact.